Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Fairy lights.

I don't know, I feel weird today. I'm bored, happy, sad, silly and broody at the same time. I've been seized by this sudden urge to make christmas cards for everyone and give everyone christmas presents. Something special, to make them remember me. It's been really long since I last actually made cards for anyone..

I somehow still miss christmas season in bangalore. Christmas was this huge affair and the christmas party at school was one of the biggest events of the year. We'd decorate our classrooms and move all the desks and chairs to make a dance floor, and dance we did! Being the choir was the 'in' thing(mainly because the choir uniforms were really pretty!). We did have a great choir. Choir was so much fun.

And the main thing was, it FELT like christmas. On christmas eve, you really FELT the magic in the air.

However, I do think christmas this year will be nice. It won't be like christmas, but it will be nice. :)

I'll wait there under the stars till our worlds come together

hand in hand we'll walk the brigde across forever.

Friday, 19 December 2008

The Last day.

So today was our last day of school, and to be honest, I would be lying if I said I’m really sad and I’m going to miss the school so badly I’m going to cry about it. But today was definitely one of the most memorable days ever at M.H.S. More memorable than the first day, probably. I had the time of my life. And yes, I was right about my sentiments towards school not really changing, because somehow I couldn’t work myself up to become very emotional like everyone else. I know I sound downright treacherous when I say I wasn't exactly very miserable, or that I wasn't analyzing every moment today, trying to live it one last time, like everyone else. Maybe I've become like that these days. It didn't really FEEL like anything.

My first day at M.H.S.

Class 9. My first reaction:"What is this place? It's all closed and grey and depressing." I hated it. I found everything so weird. The narrow dark corridors, after the sprawling grounds and trees of Bishop Cottons, one closed cage-like school building instead of little classrooms scattered around amidst a peaceful, beautiful green campus, the horrible red striped shirt, and omg no ties! But Miss Guha was wonderful. I remember the first day I just couldn't keep track of the time and I was very surprised that there was a short break after 2 periods and lunch at 11:40! My mother had given me pretty good food[it was chowmein I remember] but I didn't even know it was luch break! Akriti Sanghvi took me down garden and introduced me to an enormous gang of friends who seemed really nice, but I couldn't remember any of their names! First few weeks I would spend all my lunch breaks just staring out of the window onto the grey street and grey staring wistfully outside, hoping that it was just one bad dream and that I would wake up and find myself back in bangalore.

Then I remember in my second week of school we had a history test and I was the only one who got full marks in it. 

Of course, you can't possibly spend four years staying depressed and I began to like school. I made friends and I found people who had similar interests. Sarojini and I used to go in the same bus and she became one of my best friends. I thank Monjorika for introducing me to The Doors. [The evil girl, actually she made me fall in love with Jim Morrison and then she told me he was dead. :P]. Anushka, me and Monjorika went to watch Harry Potter[I think it was Goblet Of Fire] at City Centre and that was my first actual outing. 

Then I started getting into school programs and I would sing at almost every function. I really liked that. But I think our teachers day disaster can't go unmentioned. I guess it was in class 9. There were six of us and we'd planned a lot of harmonising and suff. I was supposed to be playing the keyboard as well. Problem was, the keyboard was kept off the stage and as a result everyone messed up their cues and I was the only one singing. Sarojini kept trying to look at me from stage, but they didn't start singing when they were supposed to. What a mess. We were all really sad and we went to Mrs.Kar and sang it for her and she liked it and she told us we'd get a chance to sing it at assembly one day. That assembly never ended up happening, but we sang it for our class. :-)

Oh, how can I forget the aerobics on sports day! The people round me were pretty robotic so I couldn't control my laughter even on the final day!

Class 10. Board year. And one of my best years. I wont forget the way geography torutred us. I mean, it's impossible to forget. I VOWED I wouldn't forget it. We spent more time making detailed plans about how we were going to make a bonfire with all our geography books after ICSE. Hehe. Okay, but then class 12 physics is equally torturous! But I can't make bonfire plans with them because most of my friends just love physics. They'll use chemistry for the bonfire. (Enough bonfire planning. Calcutta's actually too hot to have a bonfire.)

11 was the most eventful year of my school life and I think you'll get an idea of why I'm saying that if you read this blog. I learnt to grow up. I learnt. A LOT. 

I can't pretend to get all nostalgic because I don't feel that way, but there are some things that are very trademark-schoolday-ish. Like diving into each other's tiffin boxes and finishing their contents nanoseconds after opening them, burning things up in the chemistry lab and making pretty coloured solutions and precipitates, never doing maths in class, occasionally doing physics, teachers of all types, shapes and sizes, never finishing assignments on time, last minute filework, campaigning against tests and project deadlines.. :D

I know I hated school the last 1 or 2 months and I can't exactly say I miss it terribly and I'm sorry I felt that way, but the fact that 'school life' is over will take some time to sink in!

Some things I really enjoyed in school:

 Fests and practicing for them. For western music it was Sneha's place. Eastern music was a Shreya's place and I'd tell my dad to pick me up at a particular time and I always came out half an hour late and he always got really mad. :P. Shreya's music teacher Kanika Di helped us out immensely..she always encouraged us. Shreya would get really really nervous and I was completely the opposite and I would tell her "just go out there and have fun!". :) Well, I guess it was easy for me to say.. I've noticed I used get a lot less nervous while playing an instrument than singing. Now I don't actually get nervous much. :P 

I liked bio classes. Most of them. And I LOVED the section cutting practicals cuz I got to make really pretty designs with filter paper. :-)

Ruvlina's tiffin. She brought the most heavenly achar every day. Yumm..


Last week of school we had three tests!(YUCK!). But I had lots of fun playing the bass. Bass is just plain sexy I tell you. It's really sexy playing bass. The feeling is just awesome. You should try. It's WAAAAY better than guitar I feel. Hah. I totally fell in love with it. Sitar is heavenly, tabla is funky, keyboard is sophisticatedly beautiful, piano is simply beautiful, harmonica is lazy-bluesy-relaxingly soothing, drums is crazy-awesome,  guitar, well I didn't feel anything about it in particular, but bass is just downright sexy. No other word for it. :D I always thought that if I were in a band, in order of preference, I would be the vocalist, keyboardist and then drummer, but now the bass comes before the drums. But somehow I like to sing best of all. It's pretty hard to do serious keyboarding and sing lead though. If I could play bass AND sing lead, nothing like it! Okay, I'm dreaming again. :-P

We spent the morning practicing and all of a sudden we realized we had assembly with the Principal and we ran up four floors and huffed and puffed into the assembly LATE. Kar was giving a sort of presentation and we missed a bit of it. Missing a bit of your last assembly is SAD. Anyway, at the end, practically everyone went up to the podium to say something and they cried after that and there wasn't a single person with dry eyes. I was about the only one who didn't cry. And not crying when everyone else is, is SAD as well. It's frustrating being so unemotional sometimes.

Rest of the day we just clicked and clicked and clicked with our cameras, here there everywhere and then we had bio and Dr.De gave us a pretty nice lecture. :-). Rest of the day we ATE and ATE and ATE. And we still had food left. And then all of a sudden, an hour before the performance we realized that we didn't have a processor and guitar straps and we BADLY needed them and procuring them was a mad rat race...and then in the end it was all a waste cuz the distortion pedal didnt work!

It was fun, all of it...

If everyday in school was like this I would've missed it, sure!







Friday, 12 December 2008

Shuffle game.

Shuffle game rules:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to each question.
4. Cheating optional :P


How am I feeling today?
Hollow Years – Dream Theater.
[Okay, this is fun].

Will I get far in life?
PSP12 - Zero. 
[Sheesh.]

  How do my friends see me?
Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden. 
[No. No. No. No.]

Where will I get Married?
Photograph – Nickelback.
[Hahahaha!!]

What is my best friend's theme song?
Parallel Universe – RHCP. 
[True-ish! All my friends are alien-ish. :D I love them.]

What is the story of my life?
Sindbad the Sailor – Rock On!
[Okay! I didn’t sailing across the Enlgish Channel in a luxury cruise baot(I’m guessing, I don’t really remember too well)at the age of 6 qualified one to be an adventurous sea captain].

What was high school like?
Chartaal Ki Sawari – Ustad Zakir Hussain.
[I wouldn’t say that’s a bad approximation, because I spent most of my high school playing tabla at fests. It’s a simple enough taal to follow, even though it sounds immensely complicated and intricate. Which symbolizes life in high school?]

How am I going to get ahead in life?
Injection – Rise Against. 
[Yikes!]

What is the best thing about me?
By The Way – RHCP. 
[?? Well, I do use that phrase a lot though.]

How is today going to be?
Lines in the sand – Dream Theater. 
[That would better describe my brother’s day. He tried to plant orange seeds in the park today.]

What is in store for this weekend?
All Around The World – RHCP. 
[Wuhuuu! *dances*]

What song describes my parents?
Symphony of destruction – Megadeth. 
[LOL!]

My grandparents?
Call Me When You’re sober –Evanescence.
[Note : sober here meaning.. you know, sane]

How is my life going?

Bring Me to life – Evanescence 
[Okay. Kinda makes sense].

What song will play at my funeral?
My Immortal – Evanescence.
[O.M.G. Seriously. :-O ]

How does the world see me?
Annie’s song – John Denver. 
[Okay, this is FREAKY.]

Will I have a happy life?
School Of Rock.
[Yeah baby!! \m/]

What do my friends really think of me?
Roobaroo – Rang De Basanti.
[Really?]

Do people secretly lust after me?
Burn it Down – Alter Bridge. [?]

How can I make myself happy?
Re-Align – Godsmack. 
[Okay..]

What should I do with my life?

Come Together – Aerosmith.
[how?]

Will I ever have children?
Lips of an angel – Hinder 
[They’ll win beauty pageants I suppose.]

What is some good advice for me?
Wind of Change – Scorpoins. 
[I need to change? Hmph!!]

What is my signature dancing song?

Be Yourself – Audioslave.
[Yeah it’s one of the best for air-guitaring, air-bassing, air-drumming, and for crazy on-stage rockstar antics, if you count them as dance forms. And of course one of the best to sing. Awesome song.]

What do I think my current theme song is?
Creep – Radiohead. 
[Sort of. Except I don’t crib about being a ‘creep’, I like it !]

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Osmosis – Liquid Tension Experiment.
[LOL. Everyone’s taken my biology Olympiad attempt a bit too seriously I think.]

What type of men/women do you like?
Roadhouse Blues – The Doors
 [ooooh! Yes, I LOVE Jim Morrison. And I’d LOVE anybody who could sing like that. :P]
 
Describe your first date.
Hell’s Kitchen – Dream Theater.
[Thanks shuffle. When I go on my first date I’ll make doubly sure the date is a good cook/has sensitive enough olfactory nerves]

What is your personal religion?
Serenity - Godsmack. [:)]

What do you think of your current hometown?
Burning My Soul – Dream Theater.
 [I love this city. :)]

 What do you feel guilty about?
In My Darkest Hour – Megadeth.
[But oh how I lived my life for you
Still you'd turn away
Now as I die for you
My flesh still crawls as I breathe your name.   Maybe?]

What embarrasses you?
You not me – Dream Theater. 
[Well, yes. :P ]

What kind of restaurant would you open?
Far Away – Nickelback
[How about in the middle of the Galapagoes? Far away enough?]

 How do you feel about fall?
Californication – RHCP
[I’ve never been to California at fall! :(]

 What's your greatest fear?
Socha Hai – Rock On. 
[Sochne ki zaroorat hai? Please please forgive me, my hindi is really terrible. Yeah I do sometimes fear the fact that I think about things a lot and thinking scares me.]

 What's your biggest weakness?
How You Remind Me – Nickelback.
[I don’t want to start.]

 What was the last lie you told?
Lazarus – Porcupine Tree 
 [Liar you shuffle! In any case, I did NOT lie about being able to play it. Hmph!]

What's the biggest thing you learned in school?

Rag Yemanmanj(Tilak Shyam) – Pandit Ravi Shankhar 
[No I haven’t learnt that one! L. And not in school in any case.]

What did you dream your life would be like as a child?
Wonderwall – Oasis.
[As a ‘child’? Not really.]

What were you doing 10 years ago?
So Happy Together – The Beatles. 
[Lol]

What will you be doing in 10 years?
Rag Marwa(Puriya Kalyan) – Pandit Ravi Shankhar.
[WOW. I wish. I really wish.]


What does a cry for help from you sound like?

Highway Star – Deep Purple.
[Everyone would deliberately make sure I get into trouble then.]


More coming up.
 :D





 

Thursday, 11 December 2008

The game[facebook]

Same Game. Only with Facebook this time.

1.Sayantoni Bandopadhyay.

2.Souravi

3.Anumita

4.Arka.

5.Medha

6.Shubhodip

7.Sudarshana

8.Sarojini

9.Nisha

10.Soham Chatterjee.

11.Sneha

12.Shubholina.

Q: When's the next time you're gonna see 4?
21st December(FIITJEE)

Q: Is number 8 pretty?
Yeah.
J

Q: What was your first impression of number 10?
Decent at chemistry, helpful, draws aliens well.

Q: How did you meet 3?
Class 9 bangla classes
J

Q: Is 11 your best friend?
Not really.

Q: Have you seen 5 in the last month?
Yeah!

Q: Do you think 2 has a crush on you?
No! lol.

Q: When was the last time you saw 12?
Last Friday or something.

Q: Have you ever been to 1's house?
Nope

Q: When's the next time you'll see 10?
No idea.

Q: Have you ever been to the movies with 4?
No.

Q: Have you ever gotten in trouble with 2?
No
J. She’s too nice. J

Q: What do you and number 3 talk about the most?
Music.
J

Q: Do you even know 9?
Yes I know her very well
J

Q: Would you give number 3 a hug?
Of course! >:D<

Q: Are you in love with number 12?
Yikes, no.


Q: Do you know a secret about number 8?
Yes I do.

Q: Describe the relationship between number 9 and number 5.
I guess they both tried playing the guitar for a while.

Q: What is the best thing about your friendship with number 4?
K

Q: Have you ever danced with number 7?
No.

Q: How long have you known number 1?
A few months I guess.

Q: Have you ever been in a fight with number 8?
Hmmm..yes!

Q: Have you ever wanted to punch number 2 in the face?
Never!

Q: Has number 1 ever met your mother?
No.

Q: How did you meet number 6?

I don’t recall having met him actually.
Q: Did you ever accidentally physically hurt number 5?
No.

Q: What is the best memory you have with number 3?
Everything. She’s such a sweetheart :D

Q: Do you live close to 7?
No.

Q: Out of your top 12, which one would you say is the funniest?
Nisha.

Q: Who is the most flirtatious?
Don’t know!

Q: Say something nice about number 11.
She too is a good drummer!(all drummers at 11 eh?)

Q: Which one lives the farthest away?
Nisha
L .Bangalore.

Q: Which one do you hang out with the most?
Sarojini.

Q: The quietest?
None of them are quiet.

Q: Have you travelled anywhere with number 8?
One or two parties.

 

 

The game.[orkut]

Have a look at your wall/scrapbook and make a note of the first 12 people, if the same person has posted twice only put them in once and add an extra person... I'm sure you get it, so it's the first twelve unique posters (just in case you still don't get it) then answer the questions below and post-in in a note form! Do the same yourself if you have been tagged in this note here.

1.Sayan
2.Riya
3.Ankita
4.Sutanwi
5.Ritabrata
6.Mephistopheles
7.Sayoni
8.Porky
9.Rohan
10.Ayan
11.Srinija
12.Ishani.


Q: When's the next time you're gonna see 4?
Saturday morning(probably).

Q: Is number 8 pretty?
N.O. :-|

Q: What was your first impression of number 10?
I don't remember actually!

Q: How did you meet 3?
Class 9, school!

Q: Is 11 your best friend?
Wouldn't say so.

Q: Have you seen 5 in the last month?
I think so(or was it the month before?)

Q: Do you think 2 has a crush on you?
LOL!! Definitely not!

Q: When was the last time you saw 12?
Ummm...monday I think.

Q: Have you ever been to 1's house?
Of course! I've eaten the most heavenly ilish and bhetki there AND broken a few windows playing cricket.

Q: When's the next time you'll see 10?
Saturday I guess.

Q: Have you ever been to the movies with 4?
No.

Q: Have you ever gotten in trouble with 2?
No! She's the last person I'd get into trouble with. :P

Q: What do you and number 3 talk about the most?
Umm..projects and files. :-|

Q: Do you even know 9?
Pretty well, I'd say.

Q: Would you give number 3 a hug?
I wouldn't mind.

Q: Are you in love with number 12?
Haw haw. 


Q: Do you know a secret about number 8?
Don't think so.

Q: Describe the relationship between number 9 and number 5.
They don't know each other.

Q: What is the best thing about your friendship with number 4?
She's nice to talk to during math classes. :)

Q: Have you ever danced with number 7?
No I don't think I have! But she dances well. 

Q: How long have you known number 1?
Since I was born!

Q: Have you ever been in a fight with number 8?
No. 

Q: Have you ever wanted to punch number 2 in the face?
NO!!

Q: Has number 1 ever met your mother?
Yeah.

Q: How did you meet number 6?
 FIITJEE. 

Q: Did you ever accidentally physically hurt number 5?
No.

Q: What is the best memory you have with number 3?
Her birthday party at south city this year. 

Q: Do you live close to 7?
No. :-(

Q: Out of your top 12, which one would you say is the funniest?
Rohan I guess.

Q: Who is the most flirtatious?
 ;-).

Q: Say something nice about number 11.
She's a good drummer?

Q: Which one lives the farthest away?
Right now, Sayan. =(

Q: Which one do you hang out with the most?
Ishani.

Q: The quietest?
Ishani.

Q: Have you travelled anywhere with number 8?
Sundarbans.

 


Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Well you know, a lot of people have been telling me that white doesn't suit my blog. Not that I care, of course, but I admit I'm beginning to get a bit tired of the white myself. But everyone has black blogs! I tried to change it back to black but it was looking very carroty(lots of green and orange) and I was too lazy to change all the text colours and stuff, so I decided to stay on with the white. 

Bus strike tomorrow, so I won't be able to go to school. I might be missing the bangla test. I would LIKE to miss the bangla test. Bangla is such a headache. 
I STILL don't want to go to school anymore. 

My father is filling in all my application forms. Scary. I got the results of my last FIITJEE test. VERY VERY scary. I got more than I expected though. Almost double. But they're still really horrible. I should stop even trying, actually!

I have a cold. :-(. Mother made lemon tea :-). 

I'm missing people. I haven't seen them in weeks. :-(. They dont even message. :-(

I remember phone numbers by the tunes they make while dialing them. 


[Random]

I can't believe I haven't watched the Matrix movies!
I'll have to watch them. All of them. 

I spent the whole day filling up people's diaries and it was odd to see how much I could write for people I thought I didn't know too well and surprisingly, how little I wrote for people I thought I really knew.
I called Sai, an old friend from bangalore today. It was her birthday. I spoke to her after around a year or something. It was nice. I'll try to go there once in may. It would be nice to go to Sweet Chariot again. It was a typical after-school hangout for all the schools in the area, like Haldirams is here. 
I really miss sports at Bishop Cottons. Sports here is pretty lame I find. (I know, people from MHS reading this are probably going to kill me, but trust me, if you've been to sports in Cottons, nothing compares to it). 

But I like calcutta. There are a lot of reasons for me wanting to stay here after 12:
1. I'll be able to drop in at school whenever I'm free and see the way things are going. J.A.M specially. I'd like to attend the school fests and stuff.
2. F.O.O.D.
3. Music classes.
And the reason I want to get away from here is that I want to start out again comepletely on my on, with no one there to tell me what to do. I want to be able to make friends on my own and be independant and live on my own. Because my whole friends circle in the last two years has been dominated by the few people I already knew, so I didn't really make much of an effort to make friends. 

My parents won't be too keen on letting me out of Calcutta, unless it's IIT(which is highly improbable) or NIT Durgapur or Rourkela. 
I'm really out of my mind. I haven't studied at all today. I'm actually beginning to get worried. 
I have a bangla test day after tomorrow. :-(

Two more weeks of school. Sigh.



Tuesday, 25 November 2008

More.

Around two more weeks of school. And even now, my feelings haven't changed. I'm waiting for the day they will. Just to see if they will. of course. Maybe they will, but too late. Or more proabable, they wont.
I've had everything, I've experienced almost everything there is to experience in school life. For the greater part of school, I've been the good girl, paying attention in class, answering in class, always doing homework on time, getting good grades, being liked by teachers, being liked by everyone in class, having best friends, all that stuff.
But consistency is tiring and boring. It's hard.
So after 10 I grew all the wings and tails and horns. I went to school just for fun, didn't bother to listen in class, never gave in homework on time(on the rare ocassions that I actually did the work), answered questions very rarely, slept in class(in 11 and 12 there were only about 5 physics classes I didn't sleep through), appeared for tests virtually without studying..all that. I've been for detention(not that its a very rare occurence for out batch, and 'detention' is scary only in books). I've gotten into the bad books of a lot of teachers. And I don't care. And it's fun, because I don't care. 
I've been to fests, had fun at most of them, been famous, been forgotten.
But some things haven't changed, and aren't likely to change.

I've had friends, yes, but I've always this quiet and unobtrusive girl who sits next to the window and stares out of the window to observe conversations between two fat pigeons who sit on the window opposite, who draws animal farms.
I still barely talk and it's always been like that.
Ask anyone except maybe a handful of people and they won't be able to tell you much about me. 
No one will be able to say "oh, i knew her very well". 
But school hasn't been too bad so far. But I don't like it now. 

I have an english test tomorrow and the bangla teacher has suddenly realized that I'm the only one in class she hasn't been able to really irritate for the past two years, so now she's decided to, so I have to study bangla too, something I'm doing proabaly for the first time. Foulness!
AND I'm supposed to be finishing linear momentum and collisions and I'm listening to random songs:
Roadhouse blues-The Doors
We Are One Tonight - Switchfoot
Burn it down -Alter Bridge


Till later then!


Saturday, 22 November 2008

So tomorrow is olympiad and I'm screwing it really badly. 
Today, everyone in our row at GD wore black! that was weird. Me, Sayoni, Rohini, Neo, Abhiroop and then Arjun - all black. It looked as though we'd planned it. I wish I could take a photo. 
No one comes online these days. :-(
People are nice these days. I still don't like school, but I've got a lot of diaries to fill up and lots of people to give my diary to so I have to go to school. Last week I went to school only for two days and I was late both days and I was really surprised I didn't get detention today. (Our school has this mad system of giving people who come late detention which is actually pretty hilarious.) I think they'll give us detention next week. They've suddenly decided to make the rules really strict, so almost half the school turns up for detention every saturday. The only time I had detention we had a great party. Half of class 12 was there. haha!
Anyway, I don't think there's any point worrying too much about the bio right now, because there's no point. I'll just go there and have fun tomorrow, like I always do. Go out, give it your best and have a good time. That's the way to go about doing things, you know. :-D
Cheers.

Thursday, 20 November 2008

i'm sinking down.

 i hear your voice and it pulls me up.
it makes me float, higher and higher.
till i'm flying
flying away.

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Random.

I bunked school today too. I actually bunked two days in a row. I stayed at home and tried to solve biology olympiad papers but turned out I hadn't even heard of half the terms there were in the papers, so I've given up. The exam's on sunday. I'm not going to bother studying any more. I've realized I better focus on other things.

There are some things which really irriatate me:
The fact that no one calls me up when I have my phone with me, but the MOMENT I enter the bathroom all my long lost friends and not-so-long-lost friends call. 
 
Negative signs in equations. I hate them. :-(  Yuck. And half my sums give the wrong answer because of this minus-sign-repulsion disease. (Actually my mother has it too, but she doesn't get the sums wrong!).

Well, today I sang after a really long time. Like, REALLY sang, not the bathroom stuff. I just realize how long it's been since I sang properly. I sang along with Nemo and Nymphetamine and all the evanescence songs on my ipod. They're good for a high pitched voice like mine. :D
I haven't played tabla/sitar/keyboard for AGES :-(.
I suddenly start counting taals and kayedas when I'm travelling or something. I mean I make up kayedas and try to fit them and I count and count on my fingers and people think I'm comepletely mad. 'Assymetric' taals like jhaptal are pretty tricky but once you get the hang of them they're awesome to play(especially if you've made things on your own).
Music is really a science.
There's science in everything. :)

Thursday, 13 November 2008

Parasitism.

I will do what I want to, and I will do it my way.
I will refuse to do what you tell me to do.
I despise being forced to do something, even if I wouldn't actually mind doing it.
That's the thing, 
I like to think I rule myself and I do.
Even if you think you can make me do something, and even if I make it look like I will do something you want me to, I will not do it unless you stop telling me to do it.




Half the world are parasites. Hypocrites, parasites, brainless, nerveless, gutless creatures who will attach themselves and cling on for life in an interdependance which metamorphoses from the initial symbiosis, slowly to parasitism. They draw their life from you. They will creep and crawl, reaching for you. They will cling on even after they realize that they have drawn from you all their feeble beings can. 
They are not predators, because they are too weak.
They cannot survive alone.
They do not know they are parasites. They probably never will.


People need to grow up, learn to think, learn to be independent and make their own decisions and choices.
Symbionts, not parasites.


Monday, 10 November 2008

So thursday is batch night. Dress code this year too is black. Other colours don't exist do they? I mean, it was black last year. Everyone wears black all the time. 
Everyone will be at venom, wearing black, some with their boyfriends, quite a few without and they will be dancing to loud music, and the ones who don't/can't/don't feel like dancing will stand and watch other people dancing/doing whatever. I'm guessing. I wanted to go initially, but then I thought I'll probably get really bored. Most of my friends aren't going, I can't dance(I love to dance but it would be a bit of a fiasco if I danced there), I don't have a date(not that it's necessary of course), and THERE WILL BE NO FOOD. I will have to spend two hours there standing with people I barely know(the alternative being sitting on the couch, and you know what happens on the couches at venom) with NO FOOD. I would've considered going if more of my friends were going though. Whether or not I'd be allowed is of course, a different matter.

So while everyone will be having fun(they're quite sure they will), I will be teaching Madhura angiosperm reproduction and development and photosynthesis, and she will teach me nervous coordination (after which I might just play her guitar and then eat momos)  :-) . And then I will go to math tution where I'll have phuchka with Nilanjana(who isn't going to batch night either) and do calculus. 

I love Katatonia. 


Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Blah-ing

I bunked school today. I know, everyone goes on telling me that school dyas are coming to and end and that I should go to school every day and make the most of it and enjoy my last few weeks of school, but somehow my feeling towards school hasn't changed much. Not that I expected it would, but anyway.. Nothing much happens in school. By very unfortunate coincidences, Ishani bunks the days I'm present and comes on the days I bunk(which isn't very often) and I get extremely bored. 
The last two chemistry classes were bearable, and english too was bearable. Physics I hate and however much I try I just cannot pay attention. I don't think I paid attention in a single class the entire year. 
Bengali classes are torture. She gives us a chapter/poem to learn every day and I never do, and she makes us write answers(which I copy from Ishani, word to word) and submit them to her(I've wormed out of that a few times but I can't do that every day).
 
Dr.De is hospitalized with malignant malaria and I'm really feeling quite bad for her because she's about the only teacher we have whoes classes are bearable. And it somehow seems very odd, hearing that she's got malaria of all things, because she taught us life cycles of malarial parasites and she always lectured us on keeping healthy and all that. She was the [damn I cant find the word!] undefeatable[yuck that's not the right word!!] type. Sheesh, I never seem to find the right words these days. I always end up saying 'this thing' and 'that thing' and my famous 'oije oita!! arre oito oita!' Hah. :-(

Dad bought me an ipod shuffle which is bright pink in colour. No comments. :-|
But it's an ipod anyway. :-)

I studied post mendelian genetics and mutation and DNA expression and Darwinism and Neo-Darwinism and something called Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium(it isn't really as complicated as it sounds) and I realized you actually need to know conditional probability pretty well for genetics. But I still dont get the hang of cladograms. :-(

SG's class population has declined alarmingly and there were just around 9 people in class today. And I dont know all of them. It's weird how even after two years I don't know even the names of people in class. Class was boring today. Nuclear physics. All theory. And as I said, physics doesn't interest me much anymore. Neo treated me to phuchka after class(what a pleasure it is to have phuchka with someone who likes it as spicy as you do and doesn't jump up and down after each phucka, breathing like a dragon. :-) )

OK then I can't write anymore. I plan to sleep tonight. Bye!

'Our'

That was our little place, our little world,
Something we could call our own
Our secrets, our words braided together, our walls no one could break.
We were safe there, happy.
It was ours, and ours alone.
Our minutes, our seconds
Our rainbow dreams spun out of the wind
Our world, our little corner of the universe
Ours, all ours.
Just ours.

But one day our windy dreams turned into a hurricane and blew it all away. The rainbow colours grew lighter and lighter, floating away with the wind until they disappeared.

Yes, I know it's time to go outside. To look back at the wreck,and then turn around  and move away to find another world, yet another nook of the seamless universe.
Mine.