Tuesday, 29 September 2009

I dont understand.

Looking for me
all over again.
I dont understand
Running in desperation
A screaming mind
Chasing me only to find
The shiny pieces I gathered from everywhere
Pulling them together to create a doppelganger
with a mind ruthlessly killed
The open sky, ink blue
The hopeless vastness
Its all I can belong to
On an island with unknown seas
stretching beyond reach
I am a nobody, somewhere
Searching for what I am
Groping to find blankness.
I am a something in the universe
unable to recognize myself.

my world.
what i have.
i dont understand.

Monday, 21 September 2009


I'm up again at 3:00 am after the usual 2 hour agonizing attempt to fall asleep. Its just absolutely disgusting to not be able to sleep no matter how hard you try. And its even worse when it happens EVERY NIGHT. I should just give up trying. And I have nothing to do. I mean I dont even feel like blogging, I'm only doing this because I have nothing to do. And I know I'm not making sense even though I'm wide awake. Once before the ISC the same thing happened and finally at 4:00 I gave up hopes of sleeping. Then I decided to do a math paper and after half an hour I was all drowsy.
And I'm also getting hungry. Today(well, yesterday) morning I made really cute fluffy circular omlettes with lots of onions and chillis in them. Long time since I actually made something.
Oh well I could keep typing in more nonsense but I think it would be a better idea to sign off before I start rambling about what shoes I bought and how I was taking pictures of trees in the dark with my phone and people saw me and it was terribly embarrassing and blah blah.
So goodnight/morning.

Oh I just remembered I have a diary. Not that I've written in it in decades or want to write in it, I just remembered. I'm too lazy for all that stuff.
Damn I'm really hungry.!

Friday, 11 September 2009


Emotion is what makes us human. If emotion didnt exist, we would machines. A bunch of programs running on logic. But the human mind does not work only on logic. Emotion is antagonistic to logic. And no matter how much we think we can control emotions by logic, in the end we find ourselves grappling with the truth of being human. What would happen if emotion could be controlled by logic? Would it make us perfect humans, or rather superhuman? Or would it mean we aren't human at all?

Up there in the dark it all seemed so easy. But when you face the light of day, its harder than you ever thought. But I'm coming to my senses. Almost.

Saturday, 5 September 2009


So my midsem exams begin on the 11th and I'm sure to fail physics and math.
And I'm addicted to the song Masakkali. And I'm also addicted to apple juice.
And I just noticed my hands are gradually turning permanently yellow because of the diazo coupling reactions every thursday.
And I'm actually trying to study but physics leaves me frustrated as usual and specially with all this weird vector algebra with things like divergence and gradient and curl and curl keeps reminding me of fat cute pink pigs with curly springy pink tails which DEFINITELY does not help. :-(
Today Alex brought his guitar and we went to the school grounds which were completely empty and the building looked totally haunted and everything around too looked pretty haunted and it was a really awesome feeling sitting there and singing. But then it started raining so we had to move.
We're planning to have a sort of pre-midsem party tomorrow(yeah lets all party before we fail and get grounded!).
Haha. >:D

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Where it begins, it ends.
Everything dripping wet with memories.
The universe does not believe in perfection.