Tuesday, 31 July 2007
Darkness and a flicker of light
It's that sinking feeling again. The one I feel will never go.. I am, once again down in the dumps. And this time, I'm down enough not to be able to write poetry. I guess I should be used to it by now. Some things will stay the way they are. And I'll have to accept them....And that's the hardest part.
Just when it begins to feel like things are going to be alright, your life starts getting all the more messier. Things that never get off our mind....and however you try to make yourself think that one day, it will all be set right, it weighs down on you like a sack of wet sand. Losing a great friend is not one of the easiest things to get over....and specially when you can never be sure whether you'll get him back again... Blogging is an a great way of getting off your depression a bit. It doesn't help me positively cheer up, but it's nice somehow.
Somtimes you can't hate howver hard you try. And that's what hurts the most.
Maybe sometimes I feel I'd like to 'stay in love with my sorrow'. But when I come online, there are always people to cheer me up. And then they make me realize its not too bad to be happy after all. And if there's one thing that really makes me happy, it is knowing that I have friends who really care, people who wouldn't want to see me sad.
It's hard getting used to being down like this, but it feels nice to dwell on happy thoughts for a while - things that bring little flickers of light into your dark mind. Old memories, dreams you thought you'd lost forever, and the little things people say that really make you smile. These moments won't last long, but everyone needs a bit of light, even if it's just a momentary glow.
Thanks a ton buddy!