Friday, 9 November 2007

Blah

It's always such a headache thinking of titles to posts.
I don't know why I'm so down today...so demented. I shouldn't be sad. Why should I be sad?
It's Diwali. Life is supposed to be filled up with light.
Dunno, but for me it bloody well isn't.

I don't get why the hell I'm writing here. Its just that I haven't been this depressed in ages...And I don't really know why I am. It's so fuckin frustrating...
I mean I was actually able to write a poem.

Maybe its because no one will go to watch Bhool Bhulaiyya with me so I can't go. but I never really cared much about movies.
Maybe its because I have a math test the day school reopened. But it can't be coz I don't care about tests anymore.
Maybe its because ALLl my friends are acting wierd...Maybe its because of something I've don...I dunno what. I hate it like this.
Maybe its because my brother is playin excessively happy tunes on my synth.
I bloody hate my life.

I'm tired of playing My Immortal over and over again till it makes me so sad I could cry.
I'm tired of singing But It Rained over and over again in the bathroom and going to the bathroom just to do that. And I'm tired of trying to invent chords for it coz I'm tired of using the conventional ones.
I'm tired of wishing everyone a Happy Diwali coz I'm not happy at all.
I'm tired of all the firecrackers and the smoke and all of it coz I don't feel the light anywhere.
I'm tired of pretending to have a great time partying with people I barely know.
I'm tired of not knowing why I'm sad.
I'm tired of people cold shouldering me god knows why and I'm not the type to hang around where I'm not wanted or forcing people to talk when they don't want to.
I' m tired of having to solve everyone's problems.
I'm tired of being treated like a storehouse of everyone's secrets. I don't know why people just come and tell me the things they do.
I'm tired of people with their artificial lives all wrecked up coming and asking me to fix it for them.
I'm tired of being bad at physics.
I'm tired of walking around alone all the time. I won't be doing that for some time coz I guess it dements me...

I'm tired of it all....

1 comment:

Sayan said...

It was by far the best post I have read.