And yes, I'll probably be able to sleep a bit.
About the only useful thing I've managed to do during the vacations is learn to make brownies. And I'll try cake tomorrow(its dad's birthday!). I've also read a lot.
And since I've had rather too much time to think (that's a terrible thing, trust me) and mull over how life's treating me I've been able to come to a few logical conclusions, but yeah its still hard to logically apply logical conclusions because a weird thing called emotion gets in the way.
The thing is, once you look at things from a broader perspective, rather 'the big picture' as I like to call it, accepting facts becomes a teeny bit easier. I don't really know how to explain this, but it's like looking at your life as its been so far, watching it like a movie without missing out any details(no matter how much you're tempted to). Like this chain of unrelated events shaping the way you think and feel. How relationships change, how people change, how we learn all the time, even unconsciously. And maybe things you never understood will fall into place. You'll find the little pieces you missed out earlier, just like when you're watching a movie or reading a book a second time.
Remember the times your people told you "whatever happens is for the best" and you refused to believe it? You'll look back and see it is.
I still have a long way to go.