I wonder how I'm going to survive in society. People...my greatest fear...people.....
No. I didn't mean PEOPLE.
I bore people so much I wonder why they ever even talk to me. I wonder why I have friendz actually. I wonder why people don't hate me. People should be avoiding me, the way I behave. I can never make friendz. Why the hell do I have to be so shy and awkward around everyone all the time? ALL THE TIME irrespective of whether I know the people or not. I can write well but why cant I talk? I write so much of utter crap all the time but why cant I talk crap when I'm needed to? I think so much but how is it that I never have anything to say?
I hate the way I avoid people without any reason whatsoever.
I like being alone a lot. Rather more than normal and thatz just plain wierd. Itz almost every day. I've gotten so used to solitude I actually like it but when I really HAVE to go around with people I just get so fed up after a while. Every time, every single time, I'm the only one who'z completely quiet. I'm the only one who never has anything to say. All I do iz just listen to other people saying thingz and laugh at their jokes and smile occassionally, but I never say anything myself. The best place for me to live would be outer space.
I wish I was more mature like other people. I wish I could handle everything properly like everyone around me.
I'm beginning to wonder how long people will be able to stick to me...
But I'm happy with the few friendz I have coz they're really good onez.
I don't bloody care about anything anymore. I've given up bothering about thingz. I never learn.
I wonder if I'll ever grow up....
I guess I should stop writing crap now...I've got a chemistry practical test tomorrow. Yuck. I've got to get the damn Kreb'z cycle into my head. I wonder why the hell I want to study biochemistry. Itz gonna be HELL!! :-O