Friday, 29 April 2016


The skies are overcast. The wind is chilly.
Sometimes, it drizzles.
You forget it was spring. It is cold.

Grey. Darkness creeps up.
Melancholy evenings.
It is so silent I can hear my mind talking. Almost.

The time has come.
I am crashing like a wave when it hits the sand.
Rising, rushing, faster and faster.
To fall again and crawl along the earth.

The sound of my heart breaking.
I am crumbling again.
The pain is physical. Like my body is protesting.
My bubble has returned to surround me.
It wants to protect me but it holds me still too.

So I lie still, where I am.
The pain traps me there. My tears are trapped too.
I drift in and out of consicousness.
My mind awakes, slowly, taking baby steps.

Quietly I breathe.
A mishmash of songs spread out to cover the silence.

I dream of starry nights.
On the grass. Summer night breeze.
Breathing into the vast sky.

Footsteps. Voices.
Laughter. Music. Smiles. Pleasure. Silence. Peace.

One day, I will forget the pain, the collapsing of my being.
One day, I will be whole.
Sometimes I can only dream. 

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