Tuesday, 6 January 2015

And starting off

I know resolutions are cliched, but I like to make them every year more as a reminder of the things I would like to focus on. It's just an opportunity for a new start. A chance to re-focus. Nothing dramatic.

Well, to start off with, I did cross off one thing from my bucket list - watching the Times Square Ball Drop. Arguably, one of the biggest new year events in the world. Despite (literally) freezing my ass off in the cold for 7 hours and not being able to walk much after that, that's not what I remember. I remember the people around me from all over the world, the excitement as we counted down the long minutes till midnight together. It was great meeting so many different people, becoming friends for those few hours. There was a girl from Ireland, a bunch of Bangladeshi college students, a software engineer/video game designer from California, a Stanford graduated mechanical engineer from Hong Kong, an orthopaedic surgery resident from Mexico. And us, Hopkins graduate students. It was bearable only because of them. We stood and talked about our work and what life was like where we came from, and shared food and heating pads and shivered.

I guess sometimes you need to be forced to standing around with a bunch of random people in order to really socialize. I probably wouldn't have bothered otherwise. It was a pretty good experience to get out of this place, where sometimes I feel like I'm the only one here. I was reminded that a huge big world exists out there, with very different people who do very different things and are chasing their own dreams and have their own stories.

Times Square reminded me of Durga Pujo in Calcutta. College Square and Mohammed Ali Park on Ashtami evening.

I think sometimes we undermine the value of good conversation. We get so caught up in the other things that we forget that sometimes, you need to sit back for a while and just talk. Even better with good food and cocktails or coffee. Maybe I will do more of that when I find time.

One of the things I should probably do is try and feel good about myself more. On most days I wake up feeling stupid and inadequate and demotivated. It reflects on my outward appearance too. Because there will always be so much I don't know, so much I haven't done. I need to figure out a way around it. And the only way I can think of is to make sure I know more and do more. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's feeling crappy because I don't understand or know something.

I want to read more books. Write more, as always, though it turns out writer's block is my default state. Cook more. Try something totally new, like dancing. Join a dance class next semester. Try to make my life a little more balanced and healthier. As much as I can atleast, with graduate school life and all. Simplify and uncomplicate. Talk more. I'm sure if I tried talking to people it wouldn't be so bad. And I shouldn't skip parties if I can.

And as usual, I start off with a whole lot of hope. Here's to the (highly overrated) new beginning!

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