Friday 3 January 2014

Reflections and resolutions

 The usual new-year stuff of course. The cliched 'another year gone by, a new one to face'.

Well, 2013 was a blur for me. For half the year I oscillated between very happy and very sad. Which eventually gravitated exclusively to extremely depressed. But then, I did what I thought was right, I got myself back on the track I believed I was meant to follow without wasting any more time, and so, without sustaining much damage. I took some major risks and in the end they did pay off. And of course, in the process, I gifted myself something I always wanted more of but never really had : time. I would say it was not an extremely eventful year, but eventful enough for some things to last.

And I realized that this gift of time is really the best I could have. So I think I've been extremely lucky. We never get a break. Like a real break. It's always a continuous one thing to another - hardly any holidays or holidays spent cramming or preparing for the next thing you have to do. I mean, I know that's how life is, but being free is such a blessing. I have time to read books, something I hadn't really done for a long time. Write, cook, watch sunset, learn music, read about random things. Just let the world soak in. Learn because I wanted to and not because I had to learn it for an exam. It's quite refreshing to do that.

I do admit I've mostly been a recluse all this time. Even more reclusive than I used to be. It might sound scary that I love to live in total isolation for very very long periods of time. It probably borders on sociophobia, but I just need that peace. I can't stand crowds, I don't particularly like talking to people, I hate telephones, large groups of people completely freak me out and even TV noise with too many people talking makes me want to scream. Parties and loud music get on my nerves. I need quiet. I don't even particularly like the idea of going out to meet my friends (not that I actually have many) if I'm not really close to them or it's someone I don't know very well, but am interested in getting to know. That way there are new things to talk about and that's exciting. Otherwise, it feels like a waste of time I could be spending on my own. Science is very social though, I'll have to find a way to deal with that. Though of course, discussions on something you like and know about is certainly different from awkward silences while meeting people normally.

My resolutions for this year are simple. Take good care of myself, mind and body. Sort out all the health issues. Follow 'early to bed and early to rise'. I don't care if I sound old, an unhealthy lifestyle is certainly not cool. I want to learn and expand my knowledge. Read more, write more. Be happy. Get fitter and lead a healthy life in general. Go organic - cut out as much as possible on nasty chemicals and try to use completely natural products as much as possible. Sounds funny I know, being a chemist and all, but I also know how bad these chemicals are - the stuff we use in cleansers and shampoos and food with preservatives. I've always had a fetish for bath products (no, actually I have a fetish for anything that smells nice, like shampoos, soaps, lip balms and perfumes) so as usual, I will go around trying new things, but stick to the natural stuff this time.

 I also should learn to drive though I'm not that crazy about it. I'd rather cycle. I've started yoga classes and will start meditating and working out too. I really have to. Unfortunately, I've crossed the age where I could eat anything and not get fat and boast about it. Well, I guess I'm paying for that now, all that carbohydrate and fat had to go somewhere over these years! :P The only problem is that I love food too much. Anyway, there has to be a trade-off somewhere. And I think I actually don't mind the idea of eating healthy. It's not that hard.

I also updated my flickr photostream and hope to take more photos when I feel like it. You can find the link on the right side of the blog in the links section. Have a look! I'm not an obsessive photographer unless I'm on a trip somewhere so it might not be very often. But I hope I will blog more, if I'm not too lazy and if I don't feel too cringy about expressing myself. Also, I gave the blog another makeover. It's serene enough but not boring, and bright enough without being overbearing. I love green. I think it looks good enough to eat, candy colours and all!

Well, goodbye for now, Happy New Year and good luck with everything you wish to achieve this year! :-)

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