Thursday, 27 November 2014

Snow stories

Snow.
I didn't even realize it was snowing until I went out in the morning.
And the snow fell in silent white flakes, thicker and thicker. It wasn't very cold surprisingly. 
And suddenly I was just overwhelmed by how beautiful it is. I never really thought it would be such a big deal. It's not really the first time I'm seeing snow. But I don't have memories of my first time seeing snow last time because I was 5 years old.
And my feeling like crap because of sleeping 2 hours last night and having way too much work and screwing up experiments is gone.

It's quiet and very peaceful. Everyone has left for thanksgiving vacations. The cafeteria and lounge is empty except for me. So I get a nice table by the window where I can see it snowing. It's so quiet I can almost hear myself think. And every keystroke as I type. I'm taking a break for a little while. Also because I can't keep going out in the snow for coffee which I'll need later so I'm sitting and having lunch and coffee. I brought my work here but I can probably finish it later.

I finally bought winter stuff but probably need snow boots. I also managed to make my room look livable finally. So I feel relatively like I have some sort of a home now. It's thanksgiving tomorrow and we hope to inaugurate the oven. Though I have no idea how. I'd love to bake. It's something I haven't done in a while. And it feels good to bake things for people. But I guess it's just going to be a small thanksgiving dinner. Probably just the 3 of us as usual. Maybe it's better that way. I might even cook. And hope that something edible turns out. 

Oh well, I'm going to trudge back to my lab through the snow. And enjoy the snow while I can.

Sunday, 16 November 2014

Here and Now

Eggs, black forest ham and pepperjack cheese can get you so much happiness. Like waffles and maple syrup for a lazy saturday breakfast.
As can faux-leather jackets, pretty damn high-heeled boots, green dresses and red coats.

Many things have changed since I got here. I no longer like being alone much because the alternative is just so much happier. It's scary because I'm afraid I might lose the ability to be on my own. And I was thinking I'd get a lot more alone time after I get here but it hasn't happened. So looks like a few months have changed me into a pretty social person. Yes, I actually like people. I wouldn't even mind parties now. Heh.

I still haven't  had time to make my house look like a place where people live. And maybe that's more why I don't particularly like it there. Though 'living' there at the moment consists of occasionally going to sleep for about 3 hours. Note: my definition of 'sleep' has changed. Anything more than 2 hours qualifies as sleep. Less than 2 hours will be a nap. My sleep pattern over the last few weeks, with the exception of maybe one day has been a staggered series of naps. Oh well, what to do!

I also got pretty attached to my last rotation lab, which was weird because it's one of the most intense and demanding experiences I've ever had. Maybe it was because I spent way too much time there. It started feeling like home. The one week break between rotations, I felt like a nomad. Of course, it was a relief - I got a much needed break. I wasn't extremely crazy about the lab, to be honest, but I learnt some cool things, and did get something out of it in the end. Pushing myself to the limit was part of it, and I'm probably glad it happened that way. Maybe it was also because it was a long time since I'd been in a lab.  And maybe the last time (during my PhD atleast) that I'd be affiliated to a 'Department of Chemistry'. My program has labs everywhere and I probably won't be rotating in Chemistry after this.
And well, I liked my shiny white lab coat and radiation badge and beep-beeping Geiger counter. When I left and handed in my keys I almost felt like I'm leaving my hometown or something. Though effectively I'm just moving to the next building. Biology.

I'm excited about my next rotation because it's a lot of things I wanted to do.  Single molecule biophysics and protein folding. Kind of a step away from my whole attraction to nucleic acids. It's like when you read a paper and you completely fall in love with what they're doing. Love at first read? Something like that. And you think, OMG, this is what I want, this is what I've been waiting for - I just had to know it existed. Fortunately, we get to rotate and try things so I'm looking forward to it and let's see how it goes.

And here we go, another week of too many things and 2 hour naps. And then there's Thanksgiving break. But I'm going to have a good saturday night (something I haven't done in a pretty long time) and then go back to worrying about the rest of the things I need to worry about. Sometimes maybe you just really need to let go for a bit.