It's hard to believe school was 5 years ago. Really, what happened in the time in between? Just as high school seemed like 2 very very long years, 3 years of college went by in a click. Chemistry, friends, relationships, all that. But school is what I remember.
It can't be that long ago, wearing those blue skirts and black shoes. Backpacks with notebooks with doodles on the last page. Gossiping about boys and girls from other schools. Music practice. Tuitions after school. Quick bites of chicken roll in between.
Twisted bylanes of Golpark, going away from the busy road to the quiet little street. The building by the little shop, the dark staircase leading up to the 4th floor room, buzzing with talk, laughter, anticipation. Silence as the teacher comes in, and minds whirring like machines. And the way back to the main road, the same phuchka stall and ice creams. Today, I went back there. My feet took me down the road like I was just going back to tuition after a week. Up the stairs. The door was closed.
Nothing has changed, except me.
Back then, I knew nothing. I didn't know what I wanted to be, and just assumed I had to be like everyone else. I was there because everyone was and I found my way out of the herd by being in it. I wasn't as good at everything as I would have liked. Now, I am more confident of myself, I know who I am. I am bold enough to go back there and say that I didn't go the way you all tried to. I'm not as brilliant at physics as I would've liked to be back then, and hated myself for not being, but I'm good at something. I may not have gotten into IIT, or even tried hard enough, but I'm happy enough and successful in my own way.
And I grew out of my cocoon. I made friends, fought and went through all that drama, and I am glad to have experienced every bit of it. Those rooms and roads made up more memories of my school life than school did. And somewhere along the way, I don't know when, I grew up a little bit more. But only a little bit.
It can't be that long ago, wearing those blue skirts and black shoes. Backpacks with notebooks with doodles on the last page. Gossiping about boys and girls from other schools. Music practice. Tuitions after school. Quick bites of chicken roll in between.
Twisted bylanes of Golpark, going away from the busy road to the quiet little street. The building by the little shop, the dark staircase leading up to the 4th floor room, buzzing with talk, laughter, anticipation. Silence as the teacher comes in, and minds whirring like machines. And the way back to the main road, the same phuchka stall and ice creams. Today, I went back there. My feet took me down the road like I was just going back to tuition after a week. Up the stairs. The door was closed.
Nothing has changed, except me.
Back then, I knew nothing. I didn't know what I wanted to be, and just assumed I had to be like everyone else. I was there because everyone was and I found my way out of the herd by being in it. I wasn't as good at everything as I would have liked. Now, I am more confident of myself, I know who I am. I am bold enough to go back there and say that I didn't go the way you all tried to. I'm not as brilliant at physics as I would've liked to be back then, and hated myself for not being, but I'm good at something. I may not have gotten into IIT, or even tried hard enough, but I'm happy enough and successful in my own way.
And I grew out of my cocoon. I made friends, fought and went through all that drama, and I am glad to have experienced every bit of it. Those rooms and roads made up more memories of my school life than school did. And somewhere along the way, I don't know when, I grew up a little bit more. But only a little bit.
